More on Last Chemo

Here are some more pix of my last chemo -

I got to ring the bell - as you can see from the previous blog video! This has been the goal! It was very fun to be able to ring the bell. I have heard others ring the bell while I was there - and Could not wait to do it myself! And I had a crowd to cheer me on!
The bell says:
Ringing Out:
Ring this bell
Three times well
Its toll to clearly say
My treatments done
This course is run
And I am on my way

I read the plaque and rang the bell 3 times.

Another patient (also breast cancer) who has been treated along side of me, had her last day on Tuesday as well. She was not as happy about her last treatment as I was. She was much more "down" during her chemo process than I (I did not talk a lot with her so I don't know if she wasn't feeling well or what). But, I congratulated her on her last treatment, she congratulated me, Jamie gave her a rose, and she left with her husband. Gaile later told me that she would not ring her bell (Gaile did it for her). This poor lady was scared to be done with treatment. For fear that if she isn't getting chemo, her cancer will come back.

I have to say - I have often thought of what it would feel like when all is said and done, and I am a survivor. Will I feel paranoid that this will come back? Will I have a post-treatment depression? I guess time will tell, but honestly, I never looked at my last chemo as a sad thing. I look at it as a milestone. A huge step in the process of kicking my cancer's ass. I have received all the chemo I can receive, safely. And in the end, I will have done everything medically possible, to prevent recurrence. I hope that is enough to allow me to sleep peacefully at night. Since I am not a natural worrier and am an optimist, I think I will feel confident that I am at peace with my future as a survivor - not fearful of it!

This confidence also come from my nurse, my great friend, Gaile. I got Gaile a necklace from a jewelry show that I recently went to. She had to open the present in private so that she could cry in peace. It was so sweet. She loved the necklace and when she wears it, she will think of me. Thanks for everything, Gaile. I was the first person Gaile thought of when she woke up last Tuesday morning. She new it was my last chemo and knew it was going to be a great day! She called my first nurse, Marty (who had to take a leave of absence to care for her elderly parents), to let her know it was my last day, too. Here's Gaile and I -


It has been a week since my last treatment. I feel fine, no problems, same as usual. So, it feels like nothing is different. Except that I am really looking forward to growing my hair back! I can't wait! It doesn't bother me emotionally to be bald, it never has. But, wearing the wigs and the hats and the bandanna's is annoying. It's a pain. The wigs look great - but get uncomfortable. The hats look good, but it's annoying to have a brim in front of your eyes ALL DAY! The bandanna's are the most comfortable, but are really only good for weekends as they are a very casual look. Bald is very comfortable - but cold right now, and too exposed in the summer! So - my hair back will be a welcome change! I asked Dr. Yirinec when can I start to expect my hair to grow back (this after a series of questions I asked him). His reply "Oh, did we say it was going to grow back?"...........I laughed, and said "very funny, good one! - so when?". He said around week 3-4 after chemo. Right around surgery. But, I had to laugh at the great sense of humor he has with me! I have been joking around with him the entire treatment, and he came back with such a quick wit this time! Way to go Dr. Yirinec!

One last note: I am writing this blog at 4am. I awoke at 3:30am with a killer night sweat and could not get back to sleep. So, here I am, writing in my blog! I can do without the night sweats and hot flashes, too. But, I don't know when those will end. I depends on how my body reacts to Tamoxofin (whether I continue to not ovulate or not). I guess, all women have to endure menopause at some time in their life - my time might be now!

I have to go now - I am having another hot flash - I need to stick my head in the freezer!